Are you your own whipping boy?
The divine right of kings is the doctrine that kings and queens were appointed by God to rule over their subjects. This belief meant that it was a sin for the people to rebel against the monarchy. As part of this doctrine, a young prince could only be punished by his father king. Because the king was rarely available when his son misbehaved, the prince was assigned a whipping boy who would take the blame for the prince’s bad behavior and receive the punishment.
While modern-day society has rejected the idea of the whipping boy, most humans have the need to look for someone or something to blame when things go wrong. Your car won’t start? Life sucks. Your family doesn’t appreciate you? You deserve to be angry. Your friends don’t text or call? Nobody loves you.
All of us have been victims to life’s challenges and difficulties. It is the nature of life itself. At the same time, being hurt or taken advantage of, whether emotionally or physically, can create feelings of worthlessness. It is this sense of worthlessness that can push you to feel powerless over your thoughts, your feelings, and your situation. Rather than being compassionate and kind to yourself by finding ways of letting go of the hurt, anger, and blame, you become your own whipping boy, perpetually punishing yourself with deep feelings of despair and helplessness. Worthless and helpless, all you have left is the victim mentality or what I call the “poor little me” syndrome. The “poor little me” syndrome is the need to explain to another person all the ways that you have suffered so as to elicit the “poor little thing” response each time that person sees you or thinks of you. Are there not people in your life that you feel sorry for and think “poor little thing?”
I don’t know about you but I don’t want people saying “poor little thing” to me or about me regardless of what I have suffered.
You may have every right to feel that life has been especially harsh and unjust to you. However, choosing to focus on how you were hurt only keeps you stuck as a victim where you are whipping your own mind and body into a frenzy with your endless suffering. Moving from victim mode to a stronger, happier you, means first letting go of blame and self-blame. Removing blame and self-blame does not mean removing responsibility. Everyone is fully responsible for their own actions just like everyone is fully responsible for their own happiness.
Stop punishing yourself by being your own whipping boy…or girl. Let go of the blame and start to live again.
Mother Owl.
