What would you do for love?
As part of a charitable fundraising campaign, the fashion house, Christian Dior, asked different celebrities to share what they would do in the name of love. Dior compiled their responses in the YouTube video titled Dior Love Chain. The celebrity answers included “I would try to make myself a better person,” “I would do anything for love,” and “What wouldn’t I do for love?” The video ends with the words, “And you? What would you do for love?”
Many people would say the same thing…that they would do anything for love. Hell, I’ve said it. And I’ve lived it. I put everyone else first, even giving when I didn’t have enough for myself. It didn’t matter if was my time, my money, or my things, I believed that as long as I made another person happy, then I would be happy. Isn’t that true unconditional love…to bring happiness to a person even at the expense of your own?
And then I started to realize something. No matter how much happiness I gave, certain people stayed unhappy. As their unhappiness deepened, I started to wonder if I was giving away my happiness to people who really didn’t want to be happy. And how I was allowing this to make me feel worthless in the process.
And then I saw myself in a young woman who was verbally and emotionally abused by her ex-partner. She told me, “When he was angry at me, I literally felt like I was nothing. If can’t help the person that I love to be happy, then why live? Sometimes I can still get that way with my mom. If I can’t help my mom by standing up for her against my dad, then why am I here? I’m just worthless.” This woman believed that there was no reason for her to live if she could not bring happiness to the people she loved.
Saying that you would do anything for love may sound like unconditional love. But your greatest responsibility is to love yourself first and then to take this wise, compassionate, nonjudgmental love to those around you. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). And as Christ explained, when we take care of our neighbors by doing such things as feeding them, clothing them, visiting them in prison, then “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40). All of God’s commandments are based on love: Unconditional love of the self first and then this love to others.
I love the way motivational speaker, Lisa Nichols, explains in a Daily Goalcast video why it is important that you love yourself first: “Someone is going to cross your path tomorrow, next week, next year, and they need the love that you have. But in order for them to get it, you need to fill your cup up and you need to be in overflow. Because you can’t love them from your cup. You always have to love them from your saucer. Because when you love them from your saucer, you never, ever run out, you never love on an empty tank, [and] love never hurts. A lot of times when love is hurting it’s because you haven’t given YOU everything you need yet. And you’re trying to give other people what YOU still need. You’re trying to give them your oxygen. Which is why you can’t breathe. So when you love from your overflow, that is the most responsible thing that you could do. And the greatest love that you can ever give the world is [showing the world] what loving you looks like. ‘If she can give herself a thousand second chances, then I can give myself one more. If he can give himself another chance and get up after that financial fall, if she can get up after that divorce, if he can get back up after having to leave his children, then what can I do?’”
What would you do for love…unconditional love of the self first and then this love to others? Be your own best friend, the one person you can count on for unconditional support even when you have made a terrible mistake. Learning to love yourself first means you will never have to depend on anyone else for your worth or your happiness. You will be happy on your own. Or married. Or with children or without children. You will just be happy being you. And then you will be ready to find the right people, or even that one special person, who will add to your happiness.
- Mother Owl
