The illusion of free will
Why is it so hard to let go of suffering? We don’t want to suffer … at least we say we don’t want to suffer to practically anyone who will listen. Yet we still hold onto the sadness, the worry, the regrets and nothing seems to change. Why can’t we be more like the gazelle? After a frantic chase, barely escaping the jaws of its big cat Safari neighbor, the gazelle simply shakes off the ordeal and starts grazing again.
Want to know something? While you choose to hold onto your suffering, you will not have free will.
The moment you give in to your negative thoughts and negative feelings, you become trapped in the hell of your mind. Painful emotions such as anger and fear create “dirty filters” that will keep you from seeing your situation clearly. This confusion can lead you to believe you have no control over your thoughts or your emotions. When you believe you have no control, you will not feel responsible for controlling yourself.
When you allow your thoughts and emotions to control you, this is when the suffering begins. Before you know it, you will have no energy in your brain to get through your day and no peace in your mind to get a good night’s sleep. Ultimately, your action/reaction, gloom-and-doom attitude will paralyze you completely and keep you from finding any joy. All because you blamed someone or something else for your emotional reactions to life.
Are you stuck in the drama of action/reaction in a bad movie in your mind? What movie plays in your head when you push the play button and think about your boss, your partner, the president? Do you play the worry movie? The jealous movie? The angry victim movie? Action/reaction is a type of mental programming. It requires no thought except to believe that you are the victim and have no control over how someone or something makes you feel. All because you were hurt and, therefore, have a right to suffer. The only reason you are holding onto your suffering is because you need that person to know that you are not the problem and that you are the one suffering. Because the moment that he or she knows this, that person will change. And when this person changes, then you will be able to let go of the suffering and be happy.
It is exactly this need to control and change another person that keeps you stuck in a relationship of suffering. You can use your free will to argue, complain, and scream out what you need and, in this way, “feel better.” Or you can begin the process of letting go of your suffering by placing your emphasis on finding peace rather than on being right. Accept what is and let go of ALL of the suffering that is keeping you a prisoner in your own negative thoughts and feelings.
No one makes great changes in their comfort. The greatest changes come only after great waves of suffering. Why? Because unlike gazelles, humans prefer to argue and feel sorry for themselves about a situation rather than learn and make the needed changes within. God knows that the only way you will move on to something better is when things are so miserable that any change is better than the torture of the moment. So no more bad movies! Pause the automatic programming of action/reaction and step back to see what really is going on in your mind. If you cannot do this on your own, then please find someone who can help you get there. And learn from the gazelle: Get away, shake it off, learn the lesson, and enjoy life … all in the midst of hungry lions. True free will in beautiful action. Because it really is a safari jungle out there.
- Mother Owl.
