The Dirty Religion of Money
One night I came home from work very late and very tired. I was so tired that all I wanted to do was lie down on the couch and sleep. One hour on the couch turned into two hours and before I knew it, I was slumbering in and out of late-night television infomercials. A fitness training video. An anti-aging beauty product. Some kitchen utensils. Each time I woke up, I slowly nodded back to sleep.
Suddenly I woke up to a man’s voice. A man talking about God. My eyes still closed, I listen to his beautiful words of faith, hope, and miracles. And I realized that I was getting into it. At the same time, I was wondering if this guy was for real. You know … of God.
Suddenly the preacher started talking money. “God gives you 100% and all he asks from you is a tenth … God’s people must be taught to tithe … Tithing is biblical … Obey the law of tithing!”
Then the preacher got specific. “There are 300 people that I have prayed for who are supposed to call and plant their $58 seed of the uncommon harvest as spoken of in Isaiah 58 … These 300 people must call and plant a $58 seed every month for 12 months … Get off that sofa! Get off that recliner! Don’t miss your chance! I know God is speaking to you!”
I immediately sat and looked directly at the television screen. I started to stare closely at the people on the program. The camera cut to four people singing a song. Hmmm … Their clothes didn’t look right. They seemed out of date.
The preacher continued: “I talked to a woman who told me she was on a fixed income of $586 a month. I told her that if she wanted an uncommon harvest she had to plant the $58 seed each month. And she faithfully did!”
Phones started ringing. The camera cut to the part of the set where people answer phones. I saw men and women in their sixties and seventies picking up 1980s beige-colored, push button, touch-tone phones. You know … the ones with the spirally cords still attached to them? Was this a re-run of a televangelist fundraising campaign from over 30 years ago?
You snaky TV preacher! You quote Bible scriptures! You demand obedience to God’s laws and preach that people must follow these laws! But YOU do not follow God’s laws! How do I know? Because you lie!!! You claim that you know 300 specific people who must call in and pay $58 a month so that they can receive the blessings of a special prayer you have waiting for them. But your wormy infomercial was made in the 1980s. It is 2016. Are you still waiting for these 300 people to call you?
And Pastor Hypocrite, you say that there are 300 specific people who, in faith, are supposed to call and pay to receive your prayer over them. Yet you do not have the faith to say that once these 300 people make their pledge, you will call it a day and stop collecting money. Not only are you a liar but you are a thief, too!
Why do you not pledge that you will stop the religious money show as soon as these special 300 people commit to their $58 monthly seed investment? I know that you know who they are. That is why you tell them, “I know God is speaking to YOU.” Oh, but I forgot. Thirty years is not enough time to reach all of them so you have to keep re-running the show to try to find them and get them to pledge. I mean, how else are they going to get the blessing of your special prayer?
Want to know the slimiest part of you? Who do you think is up at 3 o’clock in the morning watching your vintage snake-oil show? I’ll tell you. Anxious people … worried people … sad and lonely people. You use the law of God to put more fear into the vulnerable in order to manipulate them. You steal from God’s weakest people: The poor, the hungry, and the scared.
At least the government is up front when they rape you of your money. Government agencies have no problem telling you that you’re screwed if you do not pay your taxes or follow a certain law, whether the law is just or unjust. TV preachers date rape you with their rufie-laced lies as they talk behind screens of glass and hold the Bible in their hands.
Wake up, people. The serpent isn’t at the apple tree anymore. He is inside your house. And inside the walls of your own mind. You were the one that let him in. And you may have even paid him to be there.
