Distance Parenting

Many times during the time that the father is in the US, the bond between him and his children begins to blur; and the way in which distance parenting is carried out gets reflected mainly in the economic compromise that he has with the sending of remittances which are important in families with small children, in many rural locations. This type of situations began the talk of “paycheck fathers” which made reference to how distance parenting was mainly reflected in the money send to the family without further involvement in their raising or in affective demonstrations to their children.

Although this continues to be seen, there have been some changes in the interaction between fathers and sons in which technology has played a large role, since it offers more and greater communication between parents and children thanks to cellphones (calls or text messages, social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, whatsapp), computers and the internet (communication face to face through Skype, email). Technology that in the case of some workers the children (kids/adolescents) know how to use and about which they have had to teach their parents before departure so that they can familiarize themselves with the devices and communication systems. Through these, parents “make themselves present” since they can talk more often, at low cost, with their children about their daily lives (what has happened to them in school, problems with their mom or friends), but they also serve to get their attention if their conduct has not been what’s expected or adequate.

It is also important that the father have the disposition to invest part of his resting time to talk with his children about their daily lives, to go shopping and buy presents (clothes, toys, electronic devices) to take back to their children and to periodically send the majority of their salaries in order to generate material improvements for his family. In this sense it can be said that in regards to precisely the economic aspect of sending remittances, there is also a part that implies feelings and affection. Those who go to the “North” seek to express love to their children in various ways, one of which is through the gifts that they bring them and the way in which they try to reinsert themselves in the daily lives of their children and the family dynamics when they return. However, one can also see something that can have repercussions in the future, since the circularity of migratory labor by contract slowly generates confusion in the kids, who have their parents nearby for some months and a few months later they leave again. This can happen especially in the smallest children who don’t manage to understand why he distances himself physically. It’s a dynamic that, as time goes by, creates changes in the feeling and living of migrants, of their children - which are affected by fatherly absence - and the spouse.